Mood:  chillin'
Well, back after a brief break. Between then & now, we spoke. One time it was till 5am. Sheesh. Will I never learn. Anyways, I’m into couple of awesome paki rock music. Just downloaded them into my mp3. Songs were actually provided by the artists. Isn’t that superb? It has an awesome quality & edge. Anyways, he called my @ 10 pm yesterday. We hung up ‘cuz his store got busy & I also had to go finish the horrible essay that I know will be a disaster. Today neither of us called each other. The only calls I got were from my group members. Tomorrow is my presentation. I’m having really horrible days. Oh I almost forgot, I didn’t go for my evening class ‘cuz of the TTC strike. Well I used all modes I could until there was no point. The trains, rt, buses started working but the Yonge-Spadina line was still closed. There goes half my day running around. My cough is seemingly getting better. Anyways back to studies.

Uff...no calls from me either
Mood:  down
Seems like I wasn’t able to keep my word. Well, I didn’t quite answer his calls. But instead I sent him a text message & I called him 2-3 times. Did I do anything wrong? I don’t know why I’m getting bad ideas in my head. What if he’s with some other girl? What if he’s watching some hard-core porn movie? What if he’s outside chilling with people I wouldn’t know of? My brain cells are rotting just by worrying about all this nonsense. Well atleast I can tell myself that I did do my part, of calling back & trying to talk. I will still keep my word of not picking up his phone calls but now I have another task which is stop calling him altogether. Why is it so hard to do this? Why isn’t he as worried as I am? I just wish I knew the truth, no matter how ugly it is.

No more phone calls!!
Mood:  don't ask
Can't believe I'm actually writing a blog. I guess this is the best way to get my feelings out. The person whom I'm missing right now is watching a couple of movies that he rented from Blockbuster. What's wrong with that you ask? Absolutely nothing. Its just that he's 1200 miles away, he works from 4pm till 11pm, watches DVDs all night long, sleeps in till 3pm the next day and goes to work again. He is not concerned about the fact that in a long distance relationship, talking to each other on the phone is the least you can do. We used to talk nights till 4am, but I decided to put a stop to that. Why you ask? Well, I don't sleep in like him till 3pm the next day. I usually have three meals a day. Meals-what does that have to do with a phone call? Well...in order to have the three meals a day you have to be physically up to have it right? Since I have very small proportions, it is imperative that I have my meals on time, otherwise I become weak, get migranes, etc. So therefore making sure I get my morning breakfast, is important, even though its usually something light. Since I always have something to do, like going for classes or going to work, I wake up early in order to get ready. Thus while I'm up, he's soundly sleeping without realizing that we were both up the night before chatting, sometimes fighting on the phone. It doesn't bother him as much as it bothers me. It bothers me that we don't spend much time on the phone together, because of his schedule. He avoids talking to me during the day because of his limited day time minutes. Now you tell me-isn't that sad or what? The person whom I'm missin right now is watching a couple of movies that he rented from Blockbuster. I have decided to not talk to him unless he calls me at a decent time. Not pick up the phone most especially when his unlimited evenings don't start which is at 10pm. I want to see how long can he go on so carefree & careless like this. This blog is really weird. I wrote quite a bit & it accidentally got erased. MS word rocks. Anyways, I was just feeling really depressed & the even more depressing fact is that he doesn’t even know about it! I’m sure right now, (its 12pm), he’s soundly sleeping. It was shocking to hear him say, “there’s nothing I can do, because I’m a night person when your not!” I don’t know why this is affecting me to this extent. I mean I should something learn from him. I should become carefree, careless, unaware, & always cool minded like he is. I know I can’t do that. I have strongly decided to completely stop answering all his phone calls. I have to be strong and stick to my words. I have always become weak in the knees, & blindly answered the phone without realizing that I’m making myself suffer. Why should I have to answer the phone when he calls? Why can’t he call me like he used to? Why is this bothering me so much? I can’t let this affect my studies. Yesterday night when he called, I didn’t answer. But he already knew we wouldn’t be talking, which is why he left a message saying, “if we don’t get to talk, then have a good night”. The only way to make him realize how important a simple phone call is, if I completely stop talking to him. But there is a problem, when he calls my house, my over excited mom is always eager to give me the phone. Well, I can’t let her know what is going on, because she can’t really do much. So when he calls, I’ll pretend to talk in front of her & then quietly disconnect the line. Then quickly, put the receiver down, wait for a few seconds, then pick it up. In that way, the line will be busy & he won’t be able to call me back immediately. I’m beginning to hate him for making me this upset. But I won’ let him know how I feel. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’ve tried in the past & it was just a waste of time. May god help me not answer his phone calls from today. If I did it last night, I can do it today, tonight, and everyday on wards.